


Trying to forget my feelings

by sksdwrld



Series: Planck Constant [8]
Category: Original Work
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 22:33:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 619
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5472998
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sksdwrld/pseuds/sksdwrld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe has some too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trying to forget my feelings

Joe swore softly to himself as he crouched in front of the bathroom door with a screwdriver and swiftly removed each of the four screws that held the knob and locking mechanism in place. After removing the unit, he stood, pushed the door open, and tossed the remaining pieces of knob onto the floor. Micah was sitting cross-legged on the floor across from the toilet, staring down at his hands in his lap.

"Micah," he sighed. The only response was a flinch and a wince of pain, as though Joe had struck him. He'd almost been anticipating a shrug of dismissal and some tired rhetoric about Micah's slave status and why what Joe had done didn't matter. In fact, his guilty conscience could have used the reassurance, just this once. "Micah, I'm sorry."

Micah's gaze was fixed on the shower curtain and he curled his arms around his knees a little more tightly. After a moment, his lip trembled and he swallowed before he spoke, the barest whisper barely registering in Joe's ears. "Take me to the market. Put me up for auction."

"What?" Joe's gut clenched and a moment later, so did his fists. "Are you fucking kidding me, Micah? Don't pull this dramatic act bullshit on me right now..."

Dropping into a crouch, Joe grasped Micah's chin and forced the man to look at him. He watched as tears filled Micah's eyes and then spilled over, tracking down his cheeks.

"Please, Joe..." Micah whispered, dropping his gaze. "I know I don't have any right to feel...to _feel_...but I can't help it and my poor old heart...I can't stand the thought of...if you're going to...it's going to break every time, and I...please, it's a greater kindness to give me to someone else that I won't care for nearly as much..."

Joe felt his gaze soften and his grip on Micah's face changed; he slid his palm along Micah's cheek and the subordinate reached up to cover Joe's hand with his own. "You dumb, stupid, fuck. You're not supposed to love me..." Slipping forward onto his knees, Joe tilted his head and kissed Micah.

"I know," Micah whispered as he squeezed his eyes shut. "I'm sorry!"

"I'm a dumb, stupid, fuck too," Joe whispered. And then, more loudly he said, "Sweetheart, I'm sorry. I'm so fucking sorry. But I'm not giving you up. Jesus Christ. No. I can't."

"Please..." Micah whined, grabbing more tightly at Joe's hands. "Please, Joe..."

"No!" Joe fiercely replied and kissed Micah's forehead, nose, and lips. "I'm not going to let you go off with some stranger who'll abuse you--"

"One of your friends, then," Micah interrupted. "Someone you trust. Someone who will care--"

"No." He said, matter-of-factly. There wasn't anybody who he would trust to care for Micah the way that he did, even if he bungled it from time to time. "No. You're mine, Micah, mine."

Joe sounded like a selfish asshole, and maybe he was. But there were other things too, words that he just couldn't articulate. Micah was his charge. His responsibility. The only thing, the only _person_ he'd ever loved. Carding a hand through his own hair and shoving it back away from his face, Joe shook his head. He didn't know why he'd brought that girl home from the bar but now he wished he hadn't. It wouldn't happen again.

Micah's tears were warm when they met his fingers and Joe brushed them away then pulled the slave against his chest, holding him while sobs softly shook him. "I'm sorry, Micah," he whispered again and again, his own throat pinching shut and keeping back the words that belied his actions. _I love you_.


End file.
